Anyone who’s married or dating can attest: Romantic relationships are not always smooth sailing. If you’ve been feeling disconnected rom your partner lately, you might be wondering how to get back on track.
HuffPost spoke to licensed marriage and family therapists Yara Mawad and David Ibrahim about their recommendations for practices and products that can facilitate connection in your relationship. Ibrahim runs Glendale Counseling Services, a trauma and addiction clinic in Los Angeles, and Mawad is an associate at the Jenna Laski and Associates therapy practice in Los Angeles.
Mawad and Ibrahim both emphasized the importance of intentionally carving out time to cultivate closeness with one’s partner. “The number one thing I recommend is being intentional with setting time aside to reconnect,” Mawad wrote via email. “Even if it is 30 minutes in the evening, or 15 minutes in the morning.”
In addition to cultivating closeness in your relationship, both therapists recommended investing time in building a support network outside of your partner as well as working on your self-growth.
“I like to say: ‘Know when to “co” and when to “go”’ — when to coregulate [or emotionally support one another], and to know when to go regulate [or soothe] yourself,” Ibrahim explained. “Too often in relationships one partner wants the other to constantly co-regulate them… so know when each other can be there to co-regulate and work through issues, and know when you need to regulate yourself. Usually asking your partner, ‘Do you have the bandwidth to discuss an issue I’m having?’”
In service of setting aside time to connect and working on your own growth, Mawad and Ibrahim recommended items that can help increase closeness and rekindle your spark. Read on for their recommendations below.
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A bestselling workbook to improve your self-growth
“A lot of the time we want to work with our partner to improve our connection and relationships, but a lot of relational work is also self growth, and our own emotional regulation that impacts the union of the relationship,” Mawad explained. “This workbook could help individuals increase awareness and gain tools for more effective communication, better listening skills and implementing emotional regulation that can be used to enhance the relationship and improve connection.”